Pin me

Dear Pinterest,

I hate you. You are the black hole of the internet. You're ruining my life. Please don't ever ever leave me. Ever.

Love, Shauna

Everyday I sit down at the computer with the best of intentions. "Hmm. Got a lot on my plate today. I guess I'll get Words with Friends caught up and get down to business here. Done and done. Well, since I'm here I'll just check Pinterest for anything interesting while I get my mind in order." 17 hours later and I look at the clock, uncramp my hand from around the mouse and think, " What the? I'm pretty sure I've only been looking at pins for 15 minutes. So much for getting the laundry done.  Why do I feel so sick? Did I eat today? Why does it smell like old cabbage? What happened to my pants? Why is my hair sticky? Did I always have this many kids and why are they all crying? DAMN YOU PINTEREST!" Shake fist heavenward.

 Later, in bed, drifting off to sleep and it's, "Where have I gone so wrong with my life? I really SHOULD start making my own book shelves out of lost orphans and old quilts. I am such a dullard.  I should have known all about making diaper boxes and a cheese grater into 10 different Halloween costumes. Why CAN'T I make Lemony Garlic Free Range Belgian Braised Chicken Wrapped in 20 Dollar Bills for my family? If I loved them we would have monogrammed underwear that spells the address of the website that is single handedly saving every verbally abused dolphin in captivity. I hate myself. There is something wrong with me because I can't love Taylor Swift and Twilight properly. Our apartment is hideous. My tapeworm has more taste than me. We should have coordinating containers for each of our matchless socks. I just don't try hard enough. I should be able to decorate the whole place for 3 dollars and a couple of good dumpster dives. We should just burn it down and start over. Oh dear. I hope the neighbors don't mind..." It's about this time that Tim takes the gun out of my hand and tells me to go to sleep. I do so because, after all; according to Scarlett O'Hara, tomorrow is another day. I know because somebody pinned it.