Uh.

I sat down at the computer next to the new package of gumballs I left for the little tykes- determined to hammer this thing out and not miss another day. And here I still sit; a couple of hours later, no further than the painfully clever title at the top of this post. However, I have somehow managed to get my ass handed to me by my sister in a game of Words with Friends then start 2 more, read through my Facebook feed, clear my e-mail, polish off 2 cups of coffee, give Pinterest a quick gander and scroll through umpteen blogs on Blogger-all while listening to Willie Nelson, Foster The People and Motley Crue in a continual loop with an enormous jaw ache from chewing something like 10 gumballs all at once. From this sad little interlude I have concluded that:

1. I suck.

2. I should never sit in close proximity to any amount of tasty gum type products while distracted or really ever.

3. I am a lazy Scrabble, er- I mean Words With Friends player with a sad lack of a competitive streak to boot.

4. I deeply resent the existence of the letter J.

5. I need to check my email more often.

6. Two cups of coffee+after 10 p.m.=heartburn.

7. If you listen to Girls, Girls, Girls too many times in a row you actually start leering at the nearest girl. Even if it's your own reflection in the computer monitor. 

8. Catching yourself leering at yourself is not only super awkward but kinda creepy.

9. I should have chosen something a little less ambitious for my resolution like "shower more" or "stop eating cigarette butts" rather than the fancy schmancy one I chose.

10. I should have stopped with the awesome title and gone to bed two hours ago.

  



Hugs and Kisses

We now interrupt this regularly scheduled Christmas craft dump to bring you...the Valentine banner I dropped everything to finish. Partly because it's been 3/4 done for I dunno, a couple of weeks now but really just because I knew it was going to BE SO CUTE! If you could hear me say that in the weird voice I always roll out when something ends up matching the picture in my head, it would have way more impact. I finished it a few days ago and even had the first 2 pics on the computer the same day. Then I couldn't get the long one to come out right and started messing with my camera. Aaaaand messed it up so much that I now couldn't take a decent picture to save my life. I would tell you what I did wrong but to do that I would have to know and I really don't. I finally just asked Turner to do the best she could with her camera even though it was too dark, she couldn't get that close because of the bean bag chair pile and she had to stand at an angle so she didn't get in the way of our Friday night showing of The Wizard of Oz. Whatever. It will do, Jeeves. It will do.  

The middle.

The top.

The-well, you get the general idea.



The Best Laid Plans...

Oh the grand plans I had this morning! For starters; I was going to get some shopping done, take and upload some sweet pics of my fabulous new crafty craft and finish the one I started last night. Foolish foolish girl. For a minute there, I forgot about how my life really works. The high point of my day was accidentally finding Sam the clothes-horse $6 shoes he would put on his feet without being under direct threat of bodily harm. Unfortunately it quickly rolled downhill past the part where I dumped Dr. Pepper into my SWEET green flower purse(I hope the trash can enjoys it as much as I did) and just kept going down, down, down. I'll spare you the gory details. Let's just say I've been sighing a lot today. I guess this is the part where you tell me that tomorrow is another day! I could try a round of the Glad Game too I suppose but I always thought Polyanna was kind of a dumbass. Sigh.

You should be watching this!

Downton Abbey. Maggie Smith is in it. 'Nuff said. Okay. You need more. I SAID Maggie Smith is in it. And, and and it's got a little bit of everything. Humor. Drama. Whatever you want. AND, unlike 96.4% of television shows these days, it's well written and actually takes the time to tell a story. If you don't have AMC you probably don't even remember what that is. A real story. Where the antagonists aren't completely all bad and the protagonists aren't totally perfect. Downton Abbey does all of this without zombies,vampires or wierd, unbelievable mind-bending twists. No cursing or boob flashing either. Not that I have anything against those, mind you(hello? it's me!) but every once in a while I like to not have to lock the kids in their room with their fingers in their ears just so I can watch something. Now; if you're about to tell me that you don't go in for British period pieces, save yourself the embarrasment and just freakin' watch it. Big Baby. You've only missed the first episode of season two but you can catch the replay before the next episode on Sunday night. Hell, come over to my house and watch it on my DVR. If you hurry you can cram in the first season in time for S2 E2 that will play on Sunday night. It's on PBS so no more excuses. Now go. Don't stand there looking stupid, GO.

Egads! A recipe.

I have never thought of myself as any kind of cookish type cook. I can't seem to be bothered to follow a recipe. I also don't have an advanced enough palate to really put flavor into things the way other people do. What that really means is that I was raised by Utah Mormons and never learned to like strong flavors like basil, oregano and the like so I avoid using them whenever I can and am therefore generally a producer of boring food. Oh, I have my specialties like anybody else that's been cooking all their life but most of my specialities are of the sort that belong at church gatherings and on school lunch trays. This, of course does not prevent me from calling up all and sundry and ordering them to make this thingy that I have concocted whenever I have been moved to concoction. No recipe for it of course; just a ramble about how you throw this and that in and call it good and really you should make it and so forth. So, now you know that on top of being an award winning procrastinator I am a lazy cook and a big fat bosser. And we all know what the world thinks of a bosser don't we? Well, I was concocting last week and hit on something 5 out of the 6 of us really liked. Which is basically equivalent to winning the lottery. It worked out so well that I was actually moved to write down the recipe(of sorts). And now I am sharing it here. Not because I think it's going to change your life or cure male pattern baldness but because it saves me from having to email it to the poor chums that I have been ordering to make it. Win!

 Now, a word before I move on. I used Mexican blend cheese but you could use whatever you have on hand. There isn't a specified amount because it's really a personal call in my opinion. I also didn't use corn tortillas but the Mission corn and wheat blend ones. Yes they're more expensive; but it helps me convince myself that the Fam is shoveling in something half-decent instead of something that should probably be shoveled directly down the disposal. I actually liked the flavor they added but that could be my delusions speaking for me again. And before you ask; yes-I did make a casserole instead of actual enchiladas because I'm too damned lazy to roll them up.  

Chicken Enchilada Casserole

5 C. cooked, shredded chicken      3T butter   3T flour      1c. sour cream

1 onion, chopped         1T chopped garlic        cumin, chili powder, salt

tortillas cut in half (about 20 if using the small corn ones)       

28 oz can green enchilada sauce, divided     Cheese

 Measure out 2 c. of the enchilada sauce and set aside. In a large frying pan, soften onions in oil then add garlic. Cook for a minute or so then add shredded chicken. Sprinkle with spices to taste, pour in rest of sauce from can and heat together on low.  Meanwhile, in a saucepan over med heat melt butter; add flour and cook together for 1 min then pour in 2 c. enchilada sauce. Cook, stirring until bubbly and thick. Remove from heat and add sour cream. Spray an 11x13 pan with cooking spray. Spread a little bit of the sauce in the bottom and top with a single layer of tortillas. I break them in half and put the straight side against the edge and then just kind of fill in the middle.  Next, layer 1/2 chicken and spoon some sauce on top. Sprinkle with cheese. Repeat layers then cover with last layer of tortillas. Spread with remaining sauce making sure to cover completely. Sprinkle with cheese, cover in foil and cook for about 45 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Take the foil off for the last 10-15 minutes. Let rest for 15 min. before serving.

 

Longest most rambling post in history! Read at your own risk!

I did something kinda dumb yesterday. I walked 4 miles. In the snow. It was not all uphill however; and I wasn't barefoot but I guess we can't have everything. Why would I do such a thing you ask? It can all be blamed on The Box of Shame. And what, pray tell, is The Box of Shame and how could it cause such lunacy you ask? Thanks for being so involved in my little stories that you're asking questions now. It's sweet. I appreciate it. Well. Actually, let's back up a little. I was blessed to leave high school with 2 best friends. I still count them as such to this day. Along with a few others I have picked up along the way. But I digress. Emily lives close enough to see on a weekly basis if I'm lucky. Krysta ended up on the other side of the country. So I see her every other year if I'm lucky. Sucks. And now that she has 3 kids, really sucks. As you can imagine, I would like to be the Bad Auntie to her kids as much as I am to all of my nieces' and nephews'. There's nothing more fun than bringing large amounts of chocolate to Emily's chocoholic daughter and telling her to have at it. Unless it's handing my nephew a sucker when he's strapped into his car seat and my sister isn't looking or buying my 5 year old niece bags of gum or...well you get the gist. Sorry-having a hard time staying on task today. I promise to flip a card if it happens again.  ANYWAY, when Krysta's first babies were a few months old, I acquired a priority mail box and put a few things I had gathered into it. Nothing earth shattering. One of our favorite out-of-print Christmas books I found at the D.I., a copy of my kids favorite Halloween book when they were little, the Brother themed mini-book I started when I found out she was having twin boys, just stuff that I would normally hand over whenever I saw them if they were closer. It was fun having little ones to buy for again since they were becoming scarce in my neck of the woods.  Then the box just kind of sat there. I would look at it and think, "you've REALLY gotta get that out of here. But there's still room in it. Maybe I should get an Easter book and then send it off." I would then put something else in it and it would sit there. Then Krysta had another baby and of course I needed to put something for the baby in it and and and...six months ago we moved. While I was cleaning out my closet what should appear? The BOX. Sigh. That is when it became The Box of Shame. I couldn't even remember everything that it contained but I COULD NOT look through it. Either the shame would kill me, the guilt would crush me or both. So, like the procrastinating asshat that I am, I loaded it into the car and it came to Draper with us. I would find an odd thing here and there that had never found their way in to it and I would drop it in. After we were settled into our new place, I swore I would get it mailed by Halloween. Then decided to send it with our Thanksgiving card that...I made but never mailed. I then decided to make Christmas countdown blocks that would just fill it to bursting and send it off. I even got  the blocks done before Thanksgiving. The day after I sprayed them, the kids noticed that I had done one of them wrong and had to pull one side off and re-do. And wait for the weather to be warm enough to spray that one damned 3 1/2 inch square of paper-covered wood. Again sigh. I dared to spray the week of Christmas and we were back in business. I'm pretty sure my sanity would be questioned if I just sent it off and decided to put in a letter giving some sort of explanation about the bizarre(and at this point also mostly unknown)contents. Which is why I gave myself until yesterday to get the thing in the mail or commit hari-kiri in the parking lot. I went to bed Friday night and realized The Box still had no letter. I went to sleep with a plan to do it all first thing. I woke up late yesterday but with plenty of time. Decided to shower first and get to it. I got out of the shower and discovered Tim and Turner gone in the car. We only have one. Yes, I know we are the only family outside of Calcutta with less than 2 cars but it usually works. Really. Now I was in the soup. This is where we left off. My something kinda dumb. I could hope they came home in time to get to the post office for the last pick-up or I could figure something else out. In keeping with my new resolve to follow through on all of my lazy crap I opted for the latter. So, there was nothing for it but to slap The Box shut(sans explanitory letter of course), put on the sneaks and hoodie and hit the pavement. Fast. I think I mentioned it was snowing. Did I also mention that it was 2 miles one way? I know. Dumb. The silver lining to all of this is that I made it. With 9 minutes to spare! It took me twice as long to get back and I was wet and cold and really really tired but The Box of Shame can mock me no longer. Victory(of sorts)is mine!!!

The Good, The Bad and The, well...

 Yes. Pics 2 whole days in a row. Now, don't get all worked up about it. Purely accidental I assure you. It was a now or never situation with getting these posted. As I may have mentioned a couple(thousand)times before, Christmas hasn't been my thingamajig for awhile now. And, if you have ever met me, you know that mornings are even less my idea of a good time than listening to Taylor Swift massacre Silent Night every time I go to the grocery store from Thanksgiving to New Years. I'm hoping you'll accept that as a good enough excuse for how abysmally our Christmas pics turned out. I actually wondered if I could have accidentally been high after I off-loaded these beauties. Then I wondered if I had also been drunk after spending an hour removing red-eye and adjusting the exposure on every. single. one. and still having this. Sigh.





The best thing about this one is all of the piles of crap surrounding everybody. Ahh. Christmas memories!

This one seemed like the red-eye was too appropriate to remove. If I could put a word bubble by her mouth it would say, "Thanks for the Kyle Busch pants but I think I'll be eating you now. Heh heh heh".

 



This one also seemed to need red-eye to complete the look Sam was going for. Notice the death grip of the scissors. Pretty sure he was considering their use on something other than the box.





A day late...

Welcome to the annual Christmas craft dump! It seems like every January I get over my aversion to Christmas and want to finish all of the projects I started before my yearly Christmas loathing set in. So, here are pics of my most recently finished. I was going to say a day late and a dollar short but for the sake of accuracy I feel I should say a month late and about 50 bucks short. Especially if you know how much money I've dropped on all of the crap in my house. I'm pretty pleased with how they turned out-even if all I get to do is pack them away now. At least they're DONE. Onward and upward! 

In my defense, I sat down to make these and discovered my wood still oozing sap and had to wait for them to dry out a little more. They sat in a nice little pile next to the bookcase until this week. Gotta give me props for finishing them in a day and half in spite of the fact that I had to strip a bad paint choice off of one and consequently use a 2 step paint process on the others. 

I promised my sister pics of these weeks ago but wanted to add the ribbon to the middle one that...still isn't there. I can't find the right color so I am officially pushing that to next Christmas. Is it cheating to say these are done? Probably not. If I'm completely honest, I won't care by the time they come back out and they'll look like this forever.

Bloggety Blog Blog Blog

I have 3 blogs I try(ish) to keep up. Yes, I am crazy. No, I am not an egotist. At least I don't think I am. But if I were I wouldn't admit it now would I? Having three just kind of happened. This one I was nagged into by all of my blogging chums(all of which then abandoned me for Facebook). My crafty one began in the Etsy selling fevor that afflicted me about a year ago and was abandoned shortly thereafter. Did I mention I have a problem with follow through? The last one was created out of pity for my in-laws and other out of state family that I didn't feel should have to wade through my off kilter, possibly foul-mouthed ramblings to get to the pictures of the kids I put up. So there you have it. I was getting ready to post some pics of the Christmas crafts I am finally finishing. Yes. Problem. Moving on...I thought "this is nuts!(I probably really said it out loud to myself but whatever) why should I write 2 posts today just because I promised a couple of people I'd post pics when they're done?" Well, no more say I. To save what is left of my sanity I think this will be my one stop blogging shop for the time being. You know I'm just mean and lazy enough to do it too. Sorry Mom and Dad and Carey. Take heart; maybe I'll change my mind when I decide to start writing Haikus about my gall bladder and need a dedicated blog for them. Oh happy day.

Resolve

I have recently become acutely aware of the passage of time. Suz turned ten a few weeks ago. It seems like such a little thing but the fact that all of my kids are now into the double digits brought the flight of time even more to my attention. Not in the "My my, how time flies!" sense but the "Holy Shit! what have I been doing?" sense. This(and the fact that you can't take a step these days without tripping over a New Year resolution)led me to ruminating on perseverance and my complete lack of it really. Just look at the piles of unfinished projects I have EVERYWHERE and you get how bad I have gotten. I have always been good at procrastination but it seems as I feel the weight of my life get heavier and heavier, it has reached a level that borders on insane. This is why I have decided to blog something, anything everyday.  Not because I am one of those fruity people that think everyone in cyberspace is chomping at the bit to be let in on my every thought and bowel movement(if I ever get to that point promise you'll shoot me-no warning: just POW) but because I'm hoping it will help keep me honest. If I can pull this off then maybe developing a little bit of follow through will rub off onto other places. Like my whole freakin' life.

      P.S. I guess I should clarify something. By everyday I meant 5 days a week. Not because I am trying to give myself an out(oh how you know me!)but because let's be honest here-my access to the computer on some days; mostly weekends, is on an emergency basis only. Seriously. It has to be a BIG emergency.

     P.P.S. Before you ask-the answer is yes. There will be this many run-on sentences and a complete lack of caring for proper grammar.