So- it is with a heavy heart (and rear end) that I come to you tonight. I am officially jobless it seems. No- surprisingly enough, Rita didn't finally get fed up and give me the axe. Rita finally got fed up and is giving the whole store the axe. I am a little sadder than I thought I would be. (Though, obviously not too sad to be watching some 30ish crackhead on Intervention(on A&E) admit to his parents that he hasn't showered in 5 weeks and then get on his bike and speed over to one of his girlfriends house because she just bought $100 worth of crack. Did I mention the girlfriend appears to be betwen 60-70? Yum.) Anyway, as I was saying, how often do you find a job that you look forward to going to? One where even a bad day is a good day if you know what I mean. I don't think those kinds of jobs wander by with much frequency. This begs the question: Now that I am a jobless loser, what next? Am I psychotic enough to work at the Post Office like Tim wants me to? Do I go on the dole and start panhandling on the weekends? Do I embrace my unemployed state, eat Cheetos and watch t.v. from my couch until I become fused to it and have to be trucked out of my living room? Is is still profitable to shake down hookers on State Street? Is there any possible way to sue one of my former co-workers for sexual harrassment and win?(I'm thinking lewd notes in the back room here. What do you think?) With my supreme back-fat; is stripping even an option anymore? Do I just throw myself on the mercy of my husband despite the fact that I am now not pulling my weight? (except when I occasionally get off of the couch) Ah me, so many things to ponder, so little brain power. I'm off to bed to think (drink?) myself to sleep. I suspect I will find sleep a little elusive tonight with so many wonderful options in front of me. (well that and the fact that I just watched half of Wildest Dating Show Moments on E! and I can't stop throwing up in my mouth yet.)
P.S. Of course the smelly crackhead went to rehab. Don't lie. I know you've been wondering. No, they didn't make him shower before they put him on the cross country flight. Love it.