Lessons

Now that I am starting to recover from the spiral of shame my earlier confession brought on, I have been wondering if I should be taking a different approach to my little "problem".  Find the silver lining as it were. If I could find something worthwhile to be gleaned from these so called "books" then my compulsion could just be looked on as another way to keep my brain from aging. You know what they say-Never stop learning! To this end I have been reflecting on the book to which I alluded a few days ago.  A few things I learned from  To Tempt a Texan:

1.Yelling "calf-rope" means surrender to a Texan. I know I got this one right because it was mentioned at least 75 times. Also something Texans NEVER do. Ever.

2. The only way any respectable woman makes any reference to booze is by calling it demon rum and repeating the phrase "lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine".

3. Apparently, you can take the gal out of Texas but you can't take Texas out of the gal.

4. If you're clever, the only possible name for a cook on a ranch is Cookie.

5. You can get a man to do absolutely ANYTHING if you withhold sex and/or the possibility of seeing cleavage when they drink beer. I wish somebody had told me this one 15 years ago.

6. All prostitutes in the Old West were really just nice girls with hearts of gold that bathe all the time and don't like dirty cowboys.

7. It isn't possible to use the word loco too many times when writing dialogue. This will come in handy if I ever write my own novel.

8.  The only prostitute in the Old West that didn't have a heart of gold was dirty and constantly walked around in a soiled wrapper.

9. All saloon owners really are just well behaved gentlemen that secretly yearn to be artists.

10. All librarians are unattractive old maids that do nothing but fantasize about being seduced by handsome rogues.

11. If you are a proper lady and you wish to convey your displeasure with something, the only option to you would be to say, "outrageous!" or "disgusting!'. All. The. Time.

12. You can tell if someone is speaking English as a second language because they will always say "yes?" at the end of every sentence.

13. Texans are stubborn. It bears repeating. Over and over and over... and over and over again.