Merry Christmas!?!

Ahhh, Christmas. That magical holiday. Also one of my favs as you may well know. Now that we have made it through the all important CHRISTMAS MORNING, I have had time to reflect on what makes Christmas so great. In no particular order, my little list of the best holiday traditions-

The annual doing of the Christmas laundry because you haven't had time to do anything normal for a week.

Being forced to listen until your ears bleed to Christmas music sung by talentless hacks that are only trying to cash in on the holidays.

The annual fighting of the children when the lack of sleep kicks in.

The annual cursing at the children because you stayed up until 2:00 a.m. wrapping presents and filling socks and you're too tired to take their crap.

The annual picking up of the approximately 50,000 pices of trash all over the house.

The annual cleaning of the Kitten puke because you inevitably miss a few hundred or so and they decided it looked like something to choke on.

The annual paranoia from knowing the dog got at least 2 pieces of chocolate that the kids left around and is going to have diarrhea in the most inconvenient place possible.

The annual running out of ibuprofen due to the fact that you've had a month-long headache.

The annual nervous breakdown brought on by your 4:00 sugar crash and REALLY needing that promised nap that never materialized.

The 7 1/2 pounds you gained by managing to eat nothing but chocolate and/or cookies for breakfast and lunch for the last week. 

The annual fist-fight of the children when the second wind wears off and they realize they hate each other.

The annual crying of the children when the 4:30 sugar crash hits and they realize you have ruined their life by not caring unless they can show you copious amounts of blood.

The annual reconciling of the Christmas bills.

and last but not least,

The annual realization that you have to do it ALL again in 12 short months.

Rant

Team Edward or Team Jacob. Hmmm. Really people? This is the best you've got? So, I have to choose between the pasty, malnourished British guy that usually looks(and I'm positive smells) like he slept under a box at the train station or some barely legal supposed stud muffin with more teeth than two horses put together and probably a propensity to bite you with 'em because he's just out of the nursery. Both of which are supposed to be running after one of the homeliest people on screen today(we won't even mention the case of oral diarrhea she can't quite shake.) Oh. Oh Wow. Maybe we should add a peg-legged pirate with 3 teeth and oh, I don't know, an asthmatic twelve year old chess wiz to the line up to make it even harder to pick. I know, I know, since I AM a woman of a certain age, I am supposed to be running after these boys like they're hiding estrogen pills in their underwear or something but I just can't work it up. Sorry. You're on your own. Can we have a third team? How about Team I am going to puke on your shoes if I have to hear any more Twilight crap. And, since we have to have 2 teams how about Team Stephanie Meyer shouldn't come out to play until she has taken a writing class or two. Now those are some teams I can get behind.

Damn you Katy Perry and your irresistible pop hooks!!!

Pop Quiz

Showering by the light of one not very bright, kinda crappy candle is:

A. a good way to break your leg
B. better than a party
C. a good way to still be dirty at the end of a shower
D. making the best of a bad situation
E. a good way to burn down the house
F. all of the above

Earth Day

New Earth Day policy: Every time someone tries to shove more political tree hugging Earth day crap down my throat, I am going to go out directly and kick a tree. Really hard. Sorry Earth. I actually do believe in taking care of you and all but you shouldn't be so damned pushy about it.